Rip Your Heart Out and Not Think Twice
by xxBrokenxxAngelxx
Summary: Damon/Stefan. Not incest. Angsty. Damon's POV. "I could rip your heart out and not think twice about it." But would I? Not a collection of oneshots, consists of a storyline/plot.
1. I Wish I Hadn't

**Rip Your Heart Out and Not Think Twice About It**

"_It's been 15 years." Stefan said. What made them part, 15 years ago? From Episode 1._

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"Where were you, Damon?" Stefan's voice was cold, dry, uninterested.

Damon stumbled into the house they were sharing, considerably drunk. He spun around at his _dearest_ brother, and shot him a grin while holding up the half empty, _Stefan would say "half full"_,bottle of vodka.

"Partying of the best kind, little brother!" Damon managed to say, smirking and leaning against a wall in the living room, planting his gaze on his brother sitting on the chair glaring at him.

"How many?"

"How many what?" Damon played dumb, smirk still on his lips and proceeding to take another swig from the glass bottle.

Before he knew it, the bottle crashed onto the floor, glass breaking and flying, and there was a hold on his throat, Stefan's eyes cutting in through the haze and meeting Damon's blue and slightly glazed ones.

"Why so angry?" Damon didn't bother pushing away, _not tonight, tonight was a bad night_, and let his smirk fall off his face, feeling very tired.

"How many did you _kill_ Damon?" Stefan hissed, tightening his hold- _Saint Stefan in an attempt for redemption tightens his hold on his older brother's neck, little does he know his pathetic diet of squirrels wouldn't match up to Damon's daily intake of a dozen pathetic_-

"You can't kill me," Damon stated, smirking a little and almost relishing the tight hold Stefan had on him, _choke me, kill me, stab me with some wood, make this end-_

As if he'd heard his thoughts, Stefan wrenched his hand away from Damon's throat and staggered back a little, narrowing his eyes at his older brother.

"Fine, do whatever you want. Forget it." Stefan spun around, and Damon stopped him, _made him stay, please don't go. _

"A dozen. Girls. All dying to get their hands on me, and dying when I got my teeth on them," Damon called out, trying to provoke his human loving innocent _little _brother.

Two hands now, choking him, lifting him up against the wall, tightening around his throat-

Speed and sobriety was something that went together hand in hand. Therefore, Damon only had blood on his side, and _he didn't really want to fight anyway, just do it Saint Stefan-_

"You're a monster." Damon froze as the words of his brother met his ears.

_You are, too._

"You have no fucking heart, do you, Damon? Nothing! I can't do this anymore, we can't be brothers anymore-"

_Stab, stab, stab- he might as well be doing this with a wooden stake. _

"We're supposed to feed," Damon tried to cut in, but his air supply was slowly cutting off. His voice sounded hoarse, _and weak, he hated looking weak in front of his little brother. _

"You don't have to kill, Damon, you don't have to break, you don't have to hurt. You choose to live like a monster, you choose to be a monster, Damon. You don't even act like my brother anymore."

The hands were off, and Damon slumped against the wall, sinking to the floor.

Stefan stared down at him, eyes showing nothing but hate, _disdain, he hates me, he hates me_-

"I'm not a monster," Damon choked out, and Stefan laughed humorlessly, and then turned around and started to walk away.

"You're more of a monster than Katherine was."

_Slice, slice, slice, just her name-why would he do that, why would he say her name why why-_

"You're seriously fucked up, Damon. You're fucking evil. You're a monster-"

"_YOU MADE ME THIS WAY!_" Damon screamed, scrambling to his feet and almost falling forward as the room spun a little.

The adrenaline, the blood _and not just his, never just his _pumped in his head, in his ears, pounded-

"I wish I hadn't." Stefan said and everything stopped.

Everything stopped. The room stopped spinning, Damon stopped breathing, _then again breathing was just something you do, don't have to-_

"Y-you don't mean that." Damon's voice broke, and he fell back against the wall, falling to the floor in a sitting position.

Stefan turned around and his eyes were hard, and _he meant it, he meant it, he really meant it. _

Stefan turned back around and continued walking, out of the room, away from _Damon, away from me. _

Damon sat there, and looked down at all the vodka staining his pants, the glass doing him no harm as it cut into his skin.

_Stefan should've just kept choking him._

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**Random rambles from Damon's mind, a little confusing and scattered. For some reason, this is how I see his mind working. Not a one shot. Review, if you like :). **


	2. At Least I'll Be Free Of You

**At Least I'll Be Free Of You**

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He's so weak. Once everyone in the town finds him out, which they will, because they always will, he'll be easy for them to kill.

_Just feed, this girl has nothing else. _

Damon threw Vicky at Stefan, the pathetic human screaming and crying and whimpering and Stefan just stood there, eyes narrowed.

_Happy to see me, little brother?_

"So that's what you want to do? Expose me?"

What is he? _Stupid_? Isn't age supposed to make you _wiser?_

"No! I want you to remember who you are!" _My brother, my brother, my vampire brother who turned me and we're supposed to be like this together and I'm sorry but-_

"Why? So I'll feed? So I'll kill? So I'll remember what it's like to be brothers again?" Stefan straightened up, veins disappearing from his face and took a couple steps towards Damon.

Damon tried to read the look in his brother's eyes, and came up blank.

"You know what, let her go. Let her tell everyone that vampires have returned to Mystic Falls. Let them chain me up and let them drive a stake through my heart." _No no no no no no. Wrong. Wrong answer. _"Because at least I'll be free of you."

Oh.

Something rippled across Damon's expression, and he wasn't sure what. Had he really pushed Stefan, his little brother, to that point?

That's not fair. That's not fair.

Fine.

He wouldn't do that to his little brother.

After he'd erased Vicky's memory and said a farewell to his brother, Damon hopped off the roof and walked with his hands in his pockets, brows furrowed.

Well, this at least means one thing. He can't just leave Mystic Falls. Stefan obviously won't be able to take care of himself, _what the hell can bunnies do for him?_

He might as well stick around. Elena was an interesting character anyway, _looking so much like her_, and he had to see how this played out anyway.

_At least I'll be free of you._

Damon kicked a stray rock, biting into his lower lip and tasting blood.

Not fair. Not when you're all I have, _little brother._

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**A little shorter. **_**Review if you like. It'd be nice. **


	3. She Isn't, But I Am

**She Isn't, but I Am.**

Author's Note: _This would take place in 3__rd__ episode...but I'm going to stop following it soon. Sorry for the delay. I'm going to throw in a plot. It'll go somewhere, promise. For now.. _

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Elena isn't Katherine. Her cold eyes, directed solely at him…she obviously hates him. Without reason, of course not. With reason. Still.

Katherine never looked at him with those eyes. Oh. It hurts.

Dull the senses, close it, turn it off-

Damon gulped the liquid burning down his throat in an attempt to make the world hazy, make his thoughts scattered.

Stefan always wins. Doesn't he know how lucky he is? Why does he always sulk? Stefan always gets his way..

"You're still here."

"Told you I'd stick around."

The glass made a clinking noise as he set it down on the table, the ice clashing against each other in the whisky.

"What're you playing at?" He's always so suspicious; if he wasn't so suspicious and judgmental they could probably still be brotherly.

"Nothing, just watching over my little brother."

"I don't need you to watch over me, Damon. You'll only fuck me up in the process."

Oh Stefan, you know just what to say to make a guy feel good about himself.

Damon crossed the room in a split second, reaching his brother and slamming his own hand into the wall over his sibling's shoulder.

"I never fuck things up," Damon found himself hissing, abrupt anger boiling in his veins. Stefan's gaze darkened.

"You'll wake up Zach."

Damon rolled his eyes and stepped back, sighing loudly.

"Oh right. I'll wake up Zach. Oh fucking no."

Damon rolled his eyes and walked away from Stefan back to his glass on the table. He picked it up and brought it to his lips, gulping down the rest of its contents.

Stefan. The self righteous douche.

"You won't have her."

"Sounds like a challenge."

"You can't use her."

"And you aren't?"

"She's different."

"I know." _I know. _

Damon turned back and his brother's defiant expression caught him almost off guard.

"She's mine."

"And you'll protect her with all your life, is it?" Damon couldn't help but mock, his expression pulling into a bitter smirk. Protect her.

_What about her?_

"You can't get near her. You can't control her with your mind."

Stefan didn't seem to hear him anymore. He sounded like he was almost going hysterical.

Ah. He was scared, was he now? For…his sake? No. Hers.

"Can't isn't a word a vegetarian like you can apply to a carnivore like me," Damon said lightly, putting his glass down and picking up the bottle of whisky and starting to pour.

He felt the rush of wind behind him and his reflexes, much quicker than his little brother's, kicked in.

"Stefan, dearest Stefan, stop trying to attack me from behind."

Aw. The glass was broken. He'd reacted too quickly. Damon looked down from on top of his little brother, at the surprised and pained expression on his face.

"Mm, this is a nice position. Bet you wish I was Elena, huh?" He smirked at the disgusted look on Stefan's face. Sighing dramatically, Damon looked back at the jagged edges of the bottle. Stefan must have a hard head. Granted it was bleeding now, thanks to Damon's whole smashing the bottle over it moment.

"Get the fuck off me, Damon." Stefan growled, voice cracking with some of the inevitable pain he'd be experiencing right now.

"You get the fuck off me," Damon remarked, a playful tone in his voice. Stefan snarled at him, and Damon relished the ugly expression on his little brother's face.

"Stop screwing around," Stefan growled out, eyes narrowed.

Damon leaned forward, putting his lips against his brother's ear, half smiling.

"I haven't even started, little brother."

Before Stefan could blink, Damon was up off him and back at the counter, picking up another bottle of whiskey. He heard coughing from his brother on the floor behind him, and poured two glasses of whiskey.

"I'll leave this glass here, kiddo. See you around." Throwing another look over his shoulder at his brother, who was now touching the wound on his head with creased eyebrows, Damon made his way up the stairs.

Home sweet home.

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**Reviews make me happy :). Started watching VD again, and feel that I'll be updating much more frequently from now on.**

**Also, edited a rather freudian slip on my part. "Damon leaned forward, putting his lips against his brothers, half smiling." was what it was. I laughed out loud when I caught that. I added the 'ear' part that I unintentionally left out. This will NOT be incest. Unless I get enough reviews asking for it O_O. **


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